Self-Identity, Mental Health, and Lasting Friendships: Turtles All The Way Down by John Green

Personal Rating:

Note: This review might contain some vague spoilers.

“The words used to describe it – despair, fear, anxiety, obsession – do so little to communicate it. Maybe we invented metaphor as a response to pain. Maybe we needed to give shape to the opaque, deep-down pain that evades both sense and senses.”

At some point in our lives, our intrusive thoughts can get the best of us. Rendering us irrational and unreasonable at moments before we can compose ourselves. But what if you constantly live with that?

In Turtles All The Way Down, a novel by bestselling author John Green in 2017, we get a glimpse at the mind and life of Aza Holmes, a 16-year-old teenager diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Aza’s billionaire neighbor Russell Pickett is on the run with a 100-thousand-dollar reward for any information on his whereabouts. It just so happens that she was acquaintances with his son, Davis. Together with her best friend Daisy, they learn more about the Picketts and themselves, developing their relationships along the way.

The whole fugitive billionaire mystery is the plot device in this novel, focusing on Aza’s mental health and relationships with the people close to her. This novel offers a specific lens on what it must be to live with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, vividly imaging Aza’s “thought-spirals” and the mechanisms of her thinking process that is difficult and can be beyond her control at times. John Green sensitively and skillfully depicts how Aza’s condition affects her and the people who are constants in her life, such as her mother and her best friend Daisy. Her blooming feelings for Davis that stem from the timid companionship that he offers was a warm read. It was emphasized by how Davis tries to understand and empathize with her in a way that is sensitive and not self-absorbed or overbearing.

The characters here hold plenty of difficult conversations, highlighted through Aza’s sessions with her psychiatrist, trying to talk herself out of a breakdown, dealing with her mom’s vulnerability, and Daisy confronting her with the disparity of their lives and friendship.

Several times through reading this novel, I had to take breaks because of how detailed and puncturing the descriptions of Aza’s thought-spirals are to the point that I could feel the hurricane and distress of the main character’s thoughts. For people with mental health issues or who have OCD, tread lightly in reading this book since it contains potential triggers (especially since there is a scene here where a character potentially endangers themself).

As for what happened to Russell Pickett and its aftermath, it was surprising and heartbreaking at the same time. The overall message of the book was great for me. It shone a light on mental health issues, how they could feel, and how some people possibly deal with them. But I have to acknowledge that this book isn’t for everyone. If you cannot get past certain instances and dialogues that seem too farfetched, this might not do it for you.

As someone who has read all of John Green’s fiction novels before this one, the ending is crafted similarly to his other works. The only true conclusion is letting it be open to readers’ interpretation of how the rest of the characters’ lives pan out. In the end, the main takeaway I had from this book is that a lot of things can spiral down but depending on how you look and feel it at the moment, it can also spiral up.